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Sale Ends 12.30.16. Free shipping applies to only U.S. Orders.

Cutty Love Mustache Clippings

$1,000.00 $50,000.00

Here are just a few quotes from the cutty mac you'll hear:

  •  "I’m so confident you’ll love Port-O-Pong, I’ll shave off my moustache if you don’t. Psych."
  • "My moustache smells like chestnuts and cedar, now that’s the smell of success."
  • "Ever wonder what a two-horned unicorn might be called?"
  • "You’ll love PORTOPONG, trust me, I’m too good looking to lie."

Now you can own the clippings of the 'stache dreams are made from!

For a limited time only, today, order your own Cutty Love Mustache Clippings. Why?

Only the smell of deep mahogany and bourbon can get you into the mood for love and pong! 

Who is Cutty Love your wondering? 

He's the smoothest spokes model in the world. Only a man this dapper could be tapped to represent PORTOPONG in brothels around the world. If you took Shaft and he had a kid with Don Drapper and then they had a another kid with Ron Burgandy the offspring of that kid would wish he was as slick as Cutty Love. Just watch these video clips from our youtube channel and you'll get the idea! 


Don't feel like paying $1000 on this April Fools Day? Then just print out a FREE MUSTACHE of your own at, we don't mind. 




Need to reach $75 for FREE SHIPPING?

Grab a tote bag, electic pump or any of other fun items from portOpong.

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